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It's the hair i'm sure.

traffic

we've gone about 400 feet in 10 minutes.... on our way to brooklyn for my brothers engagement party.
can't read. i get car sick.
bored.
and i'm tired.

others? well i spotted a nose picker.
then the guy next to me is surprisingly smiley. not so sure what there is to smile about in traffic like this.
passenger sleeping with mouth gaped open.
guy reading the paper.

i really want to find someone singing at the top of their lungs. it's funny the things people do while driving... as if no one can see them. in reality, it's so public. i admit. i'm guilty of this. i kind of feel like there is a slim chance that i'll see anyone i know. how can you get embarassed in front of complete strangers?

how cool would it be to start karaoke in the middle of the street right now? or even just a dance party.

oh cool! in a couple of minutes we are going to be trapped in a tunnel! ever seen the movie daylight? yikes.

moving on... there is now a guy on the side of the street showing me his belly button. new york. new york. home sweet home.

atleast the weather is nice. some people are getting out of their cars. other people are pissed at the people getting out of their cars. a dance party certainly would lighten the mood.

The bookstore

one of my most favorite places.

I was just there and I was leaving I thought to myself "this should be a great place to meet guys." This is more of an "in theory" the bookstore should be a great place to meet guys because the truth of the matter is: it is NOT a great place to meet guys.

Theory: bookstore men should be intelligent
Truth: bookstore men feign intelligence and can be found drawn to stupid 5 dollar bookstore gimicks like fake teeth and a fly in a fake ice cube

Theory: bookstore men should be interesting
Truth: bookstore men are more interesting=talking star wars trivia than they are interesting=interested in fine literature and/or culture **see footnote

Theory: bookstore men should have that attractive silent/mysterious quality
Truth: bookstore men talk loudly, have acne problems and kind of smell bad

Theory: bookstore men should be able to engage in witty conversation/banter
Truth: bookstore men get overly excited when a member of the opposite sex looks at them let alone directs a comment at them and tend to ramble about things only slightly related to the original topic

**now in all fairness, I need to state here that most people wouldn't have known it was star wars trivia they were talking about, admittedly, I knew they were talking about star wars because I know who "Lando" is and I already knew their uber nerdy star wars "fun fact". sigh.

Work Blog

http://oldbathroomsreborn.blogspot.com/

people I have been told i look like

Emma Stone - Superbad, House Bunny ... One person said she was my "secret twin sister"

the freckles maybe.... stupid lindsay

the gigantic forehead perhaps? (Sprague Grayden from 24)

freakishly large eyes? who even knows who christina ricci is anymore...

honestly, i don't see it.

Wrong Number?

message in my voicemail at work

"hey - so I've been thinking a lot about us lately.
I feel like we are just not clicking.
I - um - I don't know what I'm trying to say...
I don't ever want to see you again.
So, stop coming to my house.
Stop sending me letters.
Stop sending my parents letters.
Don't send my grandmother letters.
She's an 85 year old woman for Christ's sake. You scared the hell out of her.
So just stop.
Have I ever told you - of course I told you - all those times that I was hitting you.
I think you're a dirty gorilla prostitute.
I think nothing more of you than that.
I hope you burn in hell."

This man is a terrible person ... made me feel yucky inside.

Ode to a mother

Short little cutie
has a small pootootie

puerto rican lady
changed me as a baby

sings like a mama
looks good in pajamas

gives a good evil eye
makes me want to die

best cook i know
gardens like a hoe

puerto rican with no tan
i love this wo-man